Cycling – read run write

2020 week fifty two

My year in review

Books Read: 31

Kilometres Ran: 2,591

Kilometres Cycled: 2,644

Times hit by a dumb fuck in a truck cycling: 1

Reading

When I started this blog a few years ago the goal was to read 95 books in the year and write weekly here about what I’d read. Since then I’ve read less and written more, until this year. This year my reading goal was 45 books “and other stuff” and I was doing okay until things went sideways back at the beginning of August. I ended up at 31 for the year, and I’m about half way through number 32, which I guess will be 2021 number one. In the past I’ve broken down my reading list and chosen a few highlights. This year I want to focus on just three. I read three books that, in spite of my biases going in, changed the way I think.

I wish that everyone would read these three books. I also know that the people who most need to read these three books probably won’t, or if they do, their brain will shut off while they read them. One can hope, though. Ordered by author.

Bikenomics by Elly Blue
All the anti-cycling greatest hits (and obscure favourites) decimated by facts. Whataboutism doesn’t even survive.

How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
It is not easy to casually believe you’re not racist only to be forced to confront all the ways that racism is systemic within society and it’s not enough to simply not be racists but you need to be overtly antiracist. And by you I mean me. But there’s hope.

The End of Policing by Alex S. Vitale
What does “defund the police” actually mean? “Abolish the police” sounds terrifying. Read this and remap your brain. Also, ACAB.

Running (& Cycling)

It was quite the year, hey? Normally my year in review recaps accomplishments and sets goals for the year that follows. I did accomplish a few things this year worth noting. My top three:

I have raced the 5K with Courtney McEwan twice. Both times we finished seconds apart. This time over a minute faster than the first. This Dave Mallari photo is one of my favourite race photos all time.

1. Ran a new fastest 5K in 19:04 at West Van Run in March, then another in 19:02 in a solo time trial for the Mile2Marathon Virtual Race Series in May.

*Staring down (hill) my fastest mile (so far).*

2. Ran a new fastest Mile in 5:18 and then two days later tried again and ran 5:16 for the June leg of the Mile2Marathon Virtual Race Series. Unofficial, of course. Also, gloriously downhill all the way. Think you can do better? Here’s the Strava segment (hint: you definitely can).

For Halloween, I stitched back together the stinky, bloody (unwashed) jersey paramedics had cut off me, and went for a ride. Bit of a metaphor for 2020.

3. Didn’t die. If you’re new here and want to get caught up start here and just work your way forward.

This blog started as a public diary of sorts for my running (and reading) life, but then a couple people started actually reading along so I added a Subscribe plugin and a bunch of people (bunch is generous) actually subscribed. Feeling obliged helped keep me posting mostly weekly (weakly?) per my self-imposed social contract. Then I went for a bike ride and got hit by a truck. I’ve written about my experience and subsequent recovery trials four times in the twenty weeks since August 3. And I’m sure my lawyer is going to have fits about all four, plus this one. In B.C. you don’t sue the driver, you make a claim against their insurance, and the Insurance Corp of B.C. has a monopoly. And they’re awful (hence the need for a lawyer). They also have a well established propensity to troll the internet looking for reasons to limit or diminish a claim. It’s unlikely they have read this or my other post-crash posts, but it is absolutely certain that they will.

On December 19 – 139 days since I was clobbered cycling the Sea to Sky highway – I ran my first half marathon. It was a very big deal to me, and apparently to a few people who follow me on Instagram, Strava and Twitter. Normally I would have written about it here. I guess I am now. A journalist from Global News asked to do a story. I asked my lawyer all the while already knowing his reply. “No good will come of this,” he said. And he’s right, because Global would have wanted to turn it into a good news story, and it’s not a good news story. People on social media heaped congratulations upon my accomplishment and it felt really great but it was also fucking awful. I went deep to the well on that Saturday morning and came out with a half marathon that was nearly ten minutes slower than it *should have* been. It took me nearly three days to recover. I had a headache for over 48 hours. It sucked, and the whole time I was thinking fuck that guy (I’m so tempted to type his name) and also fuck ICBC who will try to turn this into some sort of win “for rate payers.” Meanwhile, I have gotten addicted to pain meds only to kick the addiction and then come out the other end with the realization that I now have chronic pain. As in all the time. I still can’t reach my armpit with the soap in the shower without (painfully) using the wall for leverage. So, yeah, I’m doing really great (ICBC stopped reading back at “fuck ICBC”).

*Hurray for fast fashion. The other kind of fast fashion.*

Stephanie and I were talking the other day and she commented that probably the weirdest thing to lose in all of this is this stupid vanity blog and I used to so enjoy writing, and apparently, shockingly, people enjoyed reading. But I’m not allowed to anymore. At least not until the dust settles from 2020, and I’ve been told to expect it’s going to take years. So is this the end of this? I don’t know, to be honest. I could continue writing about reading and running stuff sans anything personal but I’m not sure that’s all that interesting. I haven’t figured that out yet. Wait and see? I guess you could subscribe to see what I come up with (if you’re not a subscriber already). Really zero chance I’m going to spam you. Happy new year, and thanks for all your support so far.

2020 week forty two + one

Book Read
28. Win at All Costs — Matt Hart

Kilometres Ran
since week thirty one — 69.8

2020 to date: 2,002 KM

Kilometres Cycled
since week thirty one — 325.8*

2020 to date: 2,163 KM**

Matt Hart is a freelance journalist whose writing about endurance sports, sports science, and performance-enhancing drugs has appeared in the New York Times, the Atlantic, Outside and elsewhere. I first heard about this book exploring the shady side of Nike, Alberto Salazar and the Nike Oregon Project back in the spring, looked for a copy and saw that it wasn’t being published until the fall, and then forgot about it. Then in mid September Alex Hutchinson posted on Outside his Fall Book List and included it. I re-exhausted my usual review copy channels and forgot about it again. But this isn’t about my memory issues (or is it…). Staring down Thanksgiving long weekend on an island away from my Appalachian adventures on XBoxOne I looked for a book to get me through four days of tryptophania, and remembered I hate Nike. I read this in about a day. I could not put it down. I’ve made no secret of my dislike for Nike for quite some time so this did feel a bit like literary disaster tourism, but I felt special anguish for how Nike treated Adam and Kara Goucher. Especially tough for me is what to do with the NOP jacket and hoodie I own – burn them? But they’re so damn nice. I mean, put a stylish skull on just about anything and you’ll probably have my attention. (Except you, UA. You haven’t got a chance.) NOP is the main target of Hart’s book, but the whole of Nike culture is in his crosshairs including, albeit making just barely a cameo appearance, the shoes that changed (ruined) everything. You should definitely read it.

Back at the beginning of July I signed up for the 5 Peaks run / bike Great Canadian Crossing – 365 days to run and bike 4,800 KM “across Canada.” It seemed like a fun idea and I figured that barring some *disaster* averaging a little over 13 KM per day for a year would be pretty easy. After all, on July 1, I was on pace to run over 3,300 KM in 2020, and this was a run + bike challenge. Piece of cake!

On August 3 I was hit by a dumb fuck in a truck (DFIAT) while cycling on the Sea to Sky Highway. I remember lying on the asphalt in agony and asking someone at the scene to stop my watch, thereby adding another 70 KM to my Great Canadian Crossing challenge, which put me at 960 KM of running and cycling after 34 days; 513 KM ahead of pace. For the next couple months I’d watch my lead slowly evaporate 13 KM per day. At the beginning of September my physio- and concussion therapists gave me permission to get back on my bike, on my CycleOps trainer. The rules were I had to be able to get on and off without putting my still ragged body in danger, no weight bearing with my right arm, beginning with 5 minutes and adding one minute per day as long as concussion and physiology allowed. I immediately discovered that bike’s speed sensor did not survive the crash, which meant that my indoor bike rides to nowhere were indeed to nowhere. After each activity, first 5 minutes, then six, then seven, I would get an automated notification from the Great Canadian Crossing challenge congratulating me on my 0.00 KM bike ride and showing dwindling lead on pace, culminating in finally falling into the red on my ninth ride nowhere.

Two days later my replacement speed sensor arrived in the mail, and my eleventh ride on the training earned me 6.82 fake kilometres towards my fake trek across Canada. I would continue on adding a minute each day until I reach 30 minutes and then I thought I’d give my head a shake.

So on September 30 I took my bike outside for a couple loops of Stanley Park just to see what would happen because I was genuinely curious to see what would happen. A couple days before I was overthinking about it and got to thinking that maybe I think it’s going to be tough to get back on my bike because I think that I’m supposed to think it’s going to be tough to get back on my bike. And I wanted to find out what would happen in my head. I was mad, that’s what happened. I had a bit of concussion symptoms come on during SPLoop two but other than headache and nausea and ragey-rage it was “fine.” I mean “fine” as in I expected to be really nervous; I was not. I’ve (still) not yet been on the highway so who knows what will happen there then, but for now I’m just mad at DFIAT. And my head hurts. And my shoulder hurts. And my ribs and back and arm hurt. But otherwise….

Physio during a pandemic, or ANTIFA meeting…or both?

I used to be pretty good about posting on here weekly but I haven’t written here or much elsewhere – especially about my recovery – because my lawyer warned me that ICBC trolls will be trolling for any excuse to limit my claim. But he works on commission, so…. Anyway, hi ICBC trolls! GFY! Running is what I really love and miss the most and DFIAT took that away and I’m still pretty mad about it, in case you didn’t notice. And so the orthopaedic surgeon and my GP and my physiotherapist and my concussion therapist all set up these hurdles for me to clear before I was allowed to run again and I proceeded to smash them so they all finally acquiesced. I mean, that’s the story I’m going with. Like the 5 minutes plus-a-minute on the bike, they allowed me to run a pretty strict (read: embarrassing) run/walk program. I set them all PRIVATE on Strava. (Curiously, they all still counted towards my Cross Canada total.) Then on Thanksgiving Saturday I took a break from reading about the dumpster fire that is Nike (see review above) and went for a proper run.

For the past two years I’ve woken up on the Saturday of Thanksgiving long weekend in Oak Bay and gone for a 5-and-a-bit kilometre shake out run before the Victoria Marathon (2018) and Victoria Half Marathon (2019) the following Sunday. I’d been run-walking and hating it a half dozen times and decided to see if I could string together 5 Kontinuous. So I did. It hurt a lot. Recovery from my encounter with DFIAT is proving to be, like this blog post, frustratingly long. I have spent a lot of time thinking about recover and what that really means. I mean, there’s the tangible stuff like, will this scarring on my face, hands, shoulder, side knees, ever go away? Will my ribs and clavicle ever stop looking like they’re desperately trying to escape my torso? Probably not. I haven’t quite accepted yet that I might never get full mobility back in my right arm. I haven’t talked about realizing I’m addicted to pain medication when I started trying to ween myself off. (My GP isn’t concerned, implies it’s normal given the circumstances.) It makes me really mad. A couple days before I met DFIAT I went for a pretty casual 21.1 KM run in 1:36 just for the Strava HM badge. Last weekend I ran 5K in 28 minutes and very nearly died. (Different kind of nearly died.) Part of recovery means getting back to being able to go for a casual 100 KM bike ride after a casual 96 minute half marathon. I am recovering. Some things I might never recover. Others are still a very long way off.

Today a thing happened that should have happened months ago and although it’s Monday and I typically write these by the week ending Sunday I thought I’d squeeze it in because who knows when I’m going to write again. Blame lawyer. No, blame ICBC. Today I went for a run out to Siwash Rock and back. It was an otherwise insignificant run except that I was alive and (ahem, mostly) able to do so but somewhat significantly it was my 1,000 run of all time on Strava and the run in which I passed 2,000 KM running in 2020. I should have passed those milestones months ago. I should be proud of them but they mostly just make me angry.

*As I wrote above, for 10 days I rode the trainer with 0.00 KM credited due to a busted speed sensor. Which begs the question, if I’m counting my kilometres since my encounter with DFIAT, do kilometres on a cycle trainer count? (I think they do.) But what if there’s nothing to measure them? If a concussed cripple cycles 95 minutes on a trainer and there’s no speed sensor to track the fake distance…you see where I’m going with this.

**Following along from * above, beginning with 5 minutes, and adding one minute per day for 10 days, equals 95 minutes at an average 27 km/h (roughly, guessing based on trainer spins #11 through #24) or approx. (you think I planned this but I did not) one marathon. So, since DFIAT my totals are closer to 368 KM, and 2,205 so far this year. But Strava says zero and we all know if it’s not on Strava it didn’t happen.

2020 week thirty two

Today is Thursday, August 6. The Canucks just won game three of the prelim against the Wild. I’m typing this from home.

ICYMI – On Monday morning I set out to complete my first “century” on my bike, pedalling 54 KM from my West End apartment to Britannia Beach and back. It all went sideways on the way back when I was hit by a negligent pickup truck driver a bit south of Furry Creek.

Monday – The ride out was uneventful. I’d never been farther north than the ferry terminal at Horseshoe Bay before, but I’m connected with many people on Strava who have. I see why it’s a popular ride; the route is beautiful. I reached Britannia in a little under two hours and stopped at the north end for a snack and took a couple photos. Gave a wave to a peloton heading farther north, and waited on a cyclist coming down the hill into Britannia heading south, then pulled behind him. I followed for a few kilometres and then took the lead after the descent through Furry Creek. We exchanged some small talk, he happy to get pulled along for a bit and me happy to take my turn. A few kilometres down I hear him shout out and in the same instant I was hit from behind on my head and back. The impact threw me and my bike from the shoulder into the lane and I couldn’t recover. Fortunately my shoes unclipped from my pedals. I took the brunt of the impact on the asphalt on my right side and shoulder and came to rest on my back. Quickly there were a few people at me who identified as off-duty responders and at least one doctor. They isolated my head and spine and rolled me into recovery position. I asked someone to find and turn off my watch. (Of course I did….) I was sure that my clavicle was broken (I’d broken it before). I could move my arms and legs and feel everything and sure didn’t want to. I was having a lot of difficulty breathing, which was really frightening. Fire arrived first and paramedics next. Stretchered and braced my neck and gave me oxygen, they cut off my shorts and put on a pelvic sling. RCMP said he would take my bike to Squamish. I replied that wasn’t very helpful. Someone remarked it was in pretty good shape considering. I haven’t seen it yet; it’s still in Squamish. I was transported lights-and-sirens (a first) to Lions Gate Hospital in North Vancouver.

They cut off what was left of my kit, bandaged my knees and elbows, hands, side, shoulders, gave me a CT Scan and X-rays. Right hand sure looks broken and they thought it was, but it’s not. Clavicle, scapula and ribs one through eight on my right side all are broken. The rib fracture punctured my lung but not badly; they opted to monitor rather than intubate or chest tube. I have a bit of a lump on my head, but it’s otherwise fine. My helmet mashed my sunglasses into my nose. They’re destroyed, but although my nose looks ghastly it’s fine. Got a nice asphalt tattoo on my face by my eye. At this time I still don’t know what really happened. Stephanie arrives and she’s brought me some things because I’m not going anywhere and I look at Strava and it’s updated my activity (so whoever actually found and turned off my watch, thanks!). I check the Flybys to see if I can find the cyclist who was with me and he’s posted his near death along with this (now infamous) photo:

I’m fucking mad and I’m still mad and I know that’s not healthy especially right now but I’m mad. It seems clear that the load wasn’t secured properly and fell off the headache rack but instead of stopping, the driver decided to scythe his way through the joke of a bike lane at 80 km/h (the posted limit, which literally nobody drives on this route, so I’m being generous). I found out later that Mike Martin, the cyclist behind me, was hit as well but managed to stay on his bike. The driver was issued two tickets at the scene: (1) driving without reasonable consideration for other persons using the highway (2) driving with an insecure load. If convicted, he faces a fine of less than the cost of the cycling kit that was smashed and / or cut off of me. Media have provided conflicting math but it’s less than $500. The driver claims he didn’t notice the load had shifted. What hasn’t been reported is the RCMP officer noted that the truck’s back cab window was open, as well as the camper in front of the truck had to “encourage” the driver to stop.

Tuesday – I was kept overnight to monitor my punctured lung and to get checked by the orthopaedic surgeon. My scapula breaks into my shoulder socket (or really near it, I’m still not sure) and there was concern I would need surgery. After some more X-rays of my chest I met with the surgeon who determined that surgery wasn’t the best approach, but getting me home was. Before that could happen I needed my lung puncture to stabilize and the epidural in my spine needed to come out, which meant transition off the drip and onto oral meds. That meant another night at Lions Gate at least. I was determined to make it just one. By now I had been inundated relentlessly by media, thanks in part I’m sure for my social media posts exploding. I recorded an interview with CBC Vancouver and spoke live on Radio One “On the Coast.”

Link to CBC Vancouver news story, including video: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/vancouver-cyclist-hit-by-overhanging-load-1.5673995

Wednesday – More chest X-rays and they were satisfied with how my right lung is recovering. The transition to oral pain management went okay, except that the medication makes me very nauseous and the last thing I want to be doing with eight broken ribs is throwing up. They also make me extremely drowsy so I try to just sweat through the nausea until I pass out for a bit and it’s usually passed by the time I wake up. I was discharged late afternoon, my ongoing care transferred to the trauma unit at Vancouver General, and to Stephanie. A stop at the pharmacy on the way and I was home in my own bed.

Today – Today has been rough; the pain is excruciating and the nausea is nearly as bad. I anticipated the worst DOMS of my life and they’ve exceeded expectations. But I’m grateful to be at home. I am extremely grateful to the people who stopped to help me on Monday, to the responders and all the medical professionals at Lions Gate Hospital for your care. Thank you, all of you. I am also extremely grateful for the outpouring of support through messages and social media. If I don’t reply please understand I’m exhausted, from the events of the past few days and also having to retell it over and over. I’ve read all your messages, and tried to read all the comments – normally the worst thing you can do – but they have been overwhelmingly positive. Not all, of course, there’s still the handful who are mad I ruined their holiday commute, blame me for being there in the first place, insist that the whole thing is a hoax (that one’s pretty fun), or conclude that it wasn’t so bad because I was so chipper in the CBC interview, apparently. Many of you want to visit or have offered help and we will welcome both. Please coordinate with Stephanie so that I can focus on my recovery. I am not interested in speaking with the media, and no amount of dogged determination is going to change that, though I’m sure that by tomorrow everyone will have moved on. I do hope that the calls for better cycling safety stay loud and clear, and let’s be clear: it is car culture that needs to change.

UPDATE 08/08:
– Many of you have offered to help get my bike from Squamish. Thank you, it is being taken care of.
– Some of you have offered legal referrals, and again, thank you. I have signed with excellent representation.
– Some of you have asked about a GoFundMe page; a friend has created one. It feels weird because I think there are much more worthy causes, but if you are so inclined: https://www.gofundme.com/f/todd-nickel-recovery-fund

My year in review

Reading

Running (& Cycling)

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