a note about reading

Since getting hit on the head reading has been a struggle and at first I thought that it was just down to a lack of interest. It was late 2020 and the global pandemic was in full swing, on the verge of its Wave Two resurgence. What struck me at the time, besides a load of lumber, was the thought that I expected the end of the world to be a lot less boring. What I learned working with an occupational therapist was that reading struggles and head injuries can go hand-in-hand. My physiotherapists marveled at the pace with which I returned to running and cycling. Reading turned out to be banally ordinary. So I didn’t read for a while, except for what I had to.

I don’t tend to make resolutions but I do like to set goals so as 2022 turned into 2023 I set a goal and made an effort to force myself to read again. I started with a goal to read 10 books, and with deep sardonicism launched into Steve Magnes’ Do Hard Things. Around the same time I archived this site I abandoned Goodreads without bothering to find a replacement reading tracker cum minor author circlejerk (don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean). I don’t actually remember how many books I read that year. The next year I tried again and I remain relatively foggy on the goal and its success. Then last year I tried for a dozen and this time, like a genius, I wrote down what I read, and I reached 13 — if you count the 700+ page UESCA run coach certification manual (jury’s out).

Reading struggles and head injuries are well documented with studies linking the two here and here and here and I didn’t read any of them because I don’t need to read them to know that it’s true but also because I don’t need that kind of confirmation bias telling me I am broken. I have a swath of IME reports commissioned by my lawyer’s office and ICBC that all say pretty much the same thing (save for one and let me tell you that guy was a real piece of work). But a strange thing happened immediately following mediated settlement without having to go to trial: a weight lifted like suddenly I was allowed to be well. It’s a feeling that I will never forget, which is really something because I now forget stuff all the time.

So for 2026, I’ve set a lofty goal to read 20 books and I am off to an okay start. I started the year with A Sincere Warning About the Entity in Your Home by Jason Arnopp. The book is written as a long letter on the subject implied by the title. It was ok. I don’t read a lot of horror and I don’t remember (get used to hearing that a lot) how this title landed in my to read pile. The concept behind the haunting seems unique but not altogether compelling. It’s a quick read.

Following Sincere Warning came UnWorld by Jayson Greene — an unsettling glimpse into our AI future and implants, which sounds altogether too close to the sort of thing I dabble with anyway as every single morning I check in with my Garmin watch and Oura ring so they can tell me how poorly I slept and if I am alive and how much. They seldom agree; I am reminded of waking up on the day before the Chicago Marathon last October to Garmin telling me I am “peaking” and Oura counter with its symptom advisor reading “strain” and that I should probably take it easy. In UnWorld, Greene explores moral and ethical conundrums with AI and sentience, as well as themes of death and grief, and I read it at the same time I was trudging through a self-directed New Year’s resolution (goal?) to at least glean a cursory understanding of a dozen or so publicly available AI tools. Death and grief indeed.

I am not racing the Vancouver First Half this weekend so please enjoy this photograph from the 2023 edition instead.

As I type it is 75 days until the Boston Marathon. I’m currently averaging about 70 km on my feet and about twice that distance on a bicycle (mostly to nowhere). Expect better balance between reading, running (and cycling) in the next writing. I’m still finding my rhythm.

resurrection, and a unicorn

I was leaving the track early Tuesday morning in September and received a WhatsApp message from TC that just read, “Fuck yeah” along with a blue and gold heart. A couple days earlier he’d sent a few photos from Eastside 10K and I thought that was a delayed and rather enthusiastic response to my “thanks so much.” A couple hours later I was in my office and saw the Boston 2026 cut off time had been announced. “Oh fuck!” I said. “What!?” chorused my boss and his EA from outside my door. “I just got into Boston.”

Boston 2026 Cut Off Time: 4:34

It’s been five years since I’ve posted anything here. A bit ago I reached a mediated settlement with the Insurance Corporation of B.C. (ICBC) and by extension Mr. Dumb Fuck in a Truck (DFIAT), which is what ended this exercise in the first place.

Back in January, 2021, upon legal advice I unpublished all of my posts about getting clobbered by a negligent driver on the Sea to Sky highway while attempting my first century ride. “No good will come of this.” A common refrain from my lawyer whenever I would ask after some reporter came asking what’s up. This site went stagnant, ending abruptly with my mid-2020 check in post; eventually the site’s SSL expired and I let it petrify, but the domain and hosting continued to auto-renew.

Last summer, I considered resurrecting Read Run Write to catalogue the build up to the 2025 Chicago Marathon in October. Over the Christmas holiday I got the urge to do something with this again. At least to properly tie it off. So in a lightning storm of misdirected ambition I shocked this back to life, of sorts. I reposted my post-cycling crash near death experience and recovery, such as it (the recovery) and those (posts) are. I haven’t brought myself to revisit any of them and I don’t know if I will.

I am still unsure what this might end up looking like. I am dissatisfied with these current aesthetics. I’m going to return to posting here about what I have read and what I have run with a focus on training towards running the 130th Boston Marathon in April. I’m not sure what sort of frequency this will take on.

It is 85 days until Hopkinton.

2020 week thirty six

Stuff Read
27. Hostage – Guy Delisle
Fat Shaming Shouldn’t Be Part of Our “New Normal” – Erica Thorkelson (The Walrus)

2020 Running to Date
1,905.5 KM

2020 Cycling to Date
1,805.6 KM

Days Without Strava Activity: 31

I used to write these on Sunday but it’s been Monday for a month so I guess Wednesday is fine. Stephanie picked up this Drawn and Quarterly graphic novel for me because she’s shares my appreciation for dry wit. It tells the true story of Christophe André who was kidnapped in 1997 while working in Chechnya for Doctors Without Boarders. It follows André for nearly 500 pages of him not much else than chained to a radiator. And yet, it is a very compelling story. I was engrossed from start to finish. I heard Erica Thorkelson talk about this piece she wrote for The Walrus on CBC Early Edition with Stephen Quinn the other morning and it was good so I figured I should give it a read and it is very good. It opens with some fit shaming that is an unfortunate distraction from the rest of the piece, which has really important things to say about fatphobia and especially how fat bodies are treated (abhorrently) by the medical profession in particular, as well as by society in general. Thorkelson draws on her personal relationship to weight and her body, and her decision to stop weighing herself. She encourages her readers to do the same. I don’t share her position – I weigh myself frequently – but I understand why she has chosen not to and I think she makes a good case. Her personal, authentic experience is not up for debate. The piece is frank and honest. I think everyone should read it.

Brian Jungen’s Cetology (2002) installation at the Vancouver Art Gallery. I took a bunch of pain medication and went to see it on its final day Sunday. The room made it impossible to get a full shot without a fish-eye lens. This photo has nothing to do with any of this. I just love this piece of art and I’m very happy I finally got to see it in person. Cetology is one of three whale skeletons made of resin lawn chairs. The first, Shapeshifter (2000), is in the collection of the National Gallery of Canada.

I’m thankful every damn day that I live in Canada and don’t have to deal with an American style healthcare system, but that doesn’t mean that it is without some significant problems. Thorkelson talks about some of them in her piece, and I told a story last post here about my adventures in pain management. Another frustration I’ve had is the fact that soon after my crash it became rather apparent that I’d suffered a head injury that has been acknowledged while in hospital but otherwise shrugged off. I’ve since determined that what probably happened is the load of lumber that struck me hit my head just under my helmet. It was Stephanie who first noticed the lump on my head on my right just above my ear. My lawyer has since confirmed that, through witness accounts, I most certainly lost consciousness. I was sure that I hadn’t, but my injuries and memory tell another story. It’s pretty clear from my knees, hands, shoulder and side (not to mention my helmet, sunglasses and cycling kit) that I got a good slide on the asphalt after I hit the ground. I remember going down, but I have no recollection of the slide. I have consistently raised alarm that I have an acknowledged yet untreated head injury. My file was handed from Lions Gate to VGH Trauma, which meant weekly xrays of my punctured lung followed by telephone consultations with the trauma doctor. The lung was their primary concern, but I at least got them to put a referral into the concussion centre. This was followed finally by a call from GF Strong who first needed to know if this was a WorkSafeBC or ICBC claim. I handled that question like a champ who has ten fractured bones and on a powerful narcotic pain medicine that does an okay but not excellent job, and comes with a plethora of side effects that include constipation, nausea and irritability: “I was hit by a negligent driver while cycling, so I guess it’s ICBC but frankly I don’t fucking care who’s paying; I just want someone to treat my head injury.” GF Strong replied that they’d get back to me. Next call with the trauma doctor and I tell her about my call with GF Strong, including my vocalized frustration and that I haven’t heard from them since and they say they will follow up. Soon after I get a follow up call from GF Strong, and the person on the line regales me with a long list of resources that are available to me because my injury is an ICBC claim, but in fact since XX date (they tell me the date, but I don’t remember) the Vancouver Coastal Health concussion centre at GF Strong is no longer able(?) allowed(?) to provide concussion treatment to ICBC claimants. So, long (boring, sorry) story short, I’m struggling to get treatment for my head injury, and the trauma doctor refers me to the one place in VCH that cannot or will not treat someone with an ICBC claim.

The following day I’m in physiotherapy and I tell this story to my physiotherapist and she is great, and books me an appointment to see someone in her office who has a specialty in treating concussions. I go for the consultation and it is exactly four weeks since my crash. I’m feeling good, head-wise, maybe even a bit cocky like I’m wasting their time. We run though the story and some questions and then she puts me through some eye tests and they’re fine but one gets me a bit scrambled but I don’t think much of it and we finish the tests and they’re talking and I can’t explain what happens but I just tell them to stop talking and I have a cold sweat and the worst nausea and I ask for a cup of water and say I’m not doing well. They bring me water and a pillow and turn out the light and I manage to pull it together a bit but I’m wrecked. They tell me it’s normal. They tell me that it’s going to be okay and they can fix it, that they can help me get better. I’m wrecked for the next 24 hours from trying to follow an X on a pencil with my eyes. And I’m mad. I’m mad that this fucking guy did this to me and I’m mad that I’m broken and I’ve been asking for help for a month and getting incompetence in return. I’m fucking mad. I’m confident that I’m going to get better and I’m happy that I’ve finally found help but I’m just mad that it happened and I’m mad that it was left up to me to figure out how to get the help I need. I’m going back tomorrow.